


Poison Flowers

by CuteCat213



Series: Who I Am [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Mental Anguish, Mental Coercion, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Yamanaka Ino-centric, Yamanaka being terrifying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-24 16:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13815351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuteCat213/pseuds/CuteCat213
Summary: The Uchiha were feared. (They shouldn't have been.) The Yamanaka aren't feared. (But they should be. Oh, they should be.)





	1. Chapter 1

The Uchiha were feared. (They shouldn't have been. Cut-rate amateurs.) For the potential to steal Jutsu (what a stupid reason). For their Genjutsu (mewling babes compared to the Kurama). For their potential to take over someone's body. (Nothing compared to the grace of the Nara.) The Uchiha were feared.

The Yamanaka aren't feared. (But they should be.) They're village staples, they're trusted. (It's so  _easy_  to get someone to trust them. It's sad, sometimes. Most of the time it's just terrifying.) They're kind and gentle and own a flower shop in the village. (Rumors, contacts, whisssspersss.)

Even without chakra, without Jutsu, without anything but a knife and some meanness, people are so terribly  _fragile_. It only takes two days to break a civilian, even for the untrained and the uninitiated. Two days of threats and calculated kindness to turn them to the side of the very people hurting them.

Shinobi are stronger, of course. Shinobi are taught how to harness pain, how to stand against torture. (Lie. From the first word, you  _lie_ , so that when you break -and you will break- you've already muddied the waters beyond all hope.) Shinobi are strong. Shinobi can last a month or two, at the very best. (A Jounin.) A week or two on average.

That's with torture, and violence, and threats.

Rocks. Sticks. Thrown at a problem until it's not a problem anymore.

The Uchiha could do it  _faster_ , could throw a whole barrel of rocks at a time, but it was still just rocks.

The Yamanaka have never needed such brutish, uncouth measures. Their techniques are beautiful, swift, deadly.

(They made her throw up her toenails nightly when she was first learning them.)

Memory is so unreliable. Shinobi have to train at it for years in the Academy to make sure they have memory practices down, and  _still_  it's possible to corrupt. Memory is overwritten every time it's accessed. Enough accessing, enough suggestions, and it could be warped entirely.

But that's just so...  _clumsy_ , isn't it? That's what the Branch Houses practice. What Yamanaka children not yet in the Academy practice. What ANBU and T&I practice.

What the  _Main House_  of the Yamanaka clan practices, what  _she_  practices, is another creature entirely. The inside of her head is a many-roomed mansion, a vault, a paradise. (A torture chamber.) Uchiha have no idea what they're doing when they invite themselves inside another person's head, but Ino does.  _Oh,_  she does.

She knows what it's like to unmake a person. To look into their heart and soul and pull it out of them piece by piece. Her father taught her lovingly, devotedly, what it is to unmake a person. How to build them up, how to rip them down.

Shinobi aren't trained for that. They aren't trained to withstand mind games  _inside their own minds._  (Ino is.) When a ripple of will and a wrench to the side shifts a memory and the person torturing you is suddenly wearing a different headband, a different face.

The Uchiha were feared because of their Genjutsu. (The Uchiha were  _nothing_.) For Genjutsu that could control someone. For Genjutsu that could be  _broken_. ( _You don't know what broken **is.**  But I can teach you. Yes, I can teach you.)_

There's a reason that Uchiha children were warned not to practice on Yamanaka children. ("Come into my parlor," said the spider to the fly. "Do you want to play in my mind?" asked the Yamanaka to the Uchiha, and, little one, you have no idea what you're walking into. You think you know what mind-washing is, sweet child, you've only ever played with bubbles.)

Ino's mind is a palace. (Ino's mind is the gate into hell.)

The Yamanaka aren't feared. (But, oh, Kami, they should be.)


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura has no idea how precious she is to Ino.

 _Ino'd_ had no idea how precious she was until she'd lost her best friend. If she'd known, if  _only she had known,_  she  _never_  would have let Sakura go just because they fought over Sasuke. Ino hadn't known, back then, what a gift that was.

That Sakura disagreed with her, challenged her,  _stood up to her._  Kami, Ino is suffocating and each of Sakura's biting remarks is one more desperate breath of air she can pull in.

Yamanaka are popular. Yamanaka are  _always_  popular. The shinobi, the civilians. From the time they're born to the day they die, they're steeped in others' opinions and minds, learning how to be liked until it's instinctual by the time they join the Academy. They slip in so  _easily_ , have dozens of friends willing to do anything they ask.

Her smile is automatic and she couldn't stop it if she tried. (She has. She's tried so much but-)

She hadn't understood, when she was little, why had father put up with his teammates, why he let Shikaku and Chouza run over top of him the way he did. Ino had determined that  _she_  would be the leader of her team. (Shikamaru and Chouji hadn't gotten that memo, and she's thankful to them every day for that fact.)

Because Ino trusts her team and she trusts her friend ( _Thank you, Sakura, for being you._ ) And she trusts her father and her clan and village and she is a  _good shinobi dammit._

But Ino doesn't trust herself. She looks across the counter of her family's flower shop and  _Hello, Yamada-san, how is Yumiko-san today?_  and surprise in the eyes looking back at her before they warm, before giving her that opening-

 _Stop it._  She bites down on her knuckle and pushes the memories back. Focuses on the room around her, on the bed under her. Feels her stomach churn and pushes back, pushes because she is a  _good shinobi_.

She listens to orders. (Follows them religiously because Ino trusts her clan and her village and doesn't trust herself. Because it's  _so easy_. To make them dance for her. To get lost in it-)

Chouji pulls her to lean back against him and Ino can feel the movement as he eats his chips. Smiles at him, bright and automatic and painful. But he's not looking, and she's so pathetically grateful. Something unknots between her shoulders and she rests more fully against him.

(She loves her team  _so much_. How Chouji never took her words too seriously, how Shikamaru put up with her bossiness without ever letting her boss him. And isn't that a  _wonder_? How she can tell them to do things with the silent, ingrained expectation of them getting done and have her teammates  _not do them_?)

She knows her limits, has to. Shinobi who don't know their weaknesses tend to end up very dead because of them.

And Shikamaru...

She can give up control, can trust his plans in battle. (In missions,  _always._ Because Shikamaru won't let her turn someone accidentally, will kick her under the table if she flirts too hard, will pull her back or give her the okay.) Shikamaru is their link, their leader, the one to catch the shadows in preparation for Chouji's physical attacks or Ino's mind techniques, and they trust him with their lives. (With their souls.)

 _Yes, Mistress._  And she gags. Covers her mouth and breathes slowly. (Because she is a  _good shinobi._ )

She doesn't mind assassination missions. Doesn't mind capture missions. Doesn't even really mind the special, subversion missions. (Kunoichi missions, seduction missions, are nothing for her, who can slip into their minds and give them the best of their dreams.) She  _doesn't mind._  She  _doesn't._

She's a good shinobi, a good Mistress.

But-

But  _Yes, Mistress_  is  _different_  than-

_Of course, Ino-_

Nausea, hot and sour, clogs the back of her throat. Connections, blossoming out like poisonous runners, choking off healthy growth, digging into solid stone until it crumbles at a touch. Connections, rumors, whisssperrssss.  _Remember? Our parents always put us together as children. Remember? Best friends forever._

Ties to the Yamanaka, always a close friend, because Yamanaka know how to handle Assets that come to the village, even when they've never met the person in front of them claiming to be their long-time friend.

_You're my friend, what are friends for._

Shikamaru's there when she loses the battle, and dry-heaves, hand cool against her forehead and Ino is so,  _so_ pathetically grateful.  _Tell me I did the right thing this time. Tell me-_

"You did good," he says even as Chouji rubs her back.

She is a  _good shinobi._  But Ino doesn't feel like a very good person.

The worst part of it, she thinks, the cruelest part, is that she's a Yamanaka, and Yamanaka need people.  _Ino_  needs people. She couldn't stop if she wanted to. (She wants to.) Because loneliness claws at her, digs in with claws and tears at her soul and-

 _Notice me! Look at me!_  She's a flower, and without attention, without sunlight, she withers away.

(The worst part is how  _good_  it feels. How natural. How  _right._  How she wants to stop but she  _never wants to stop._ )

The worst part is she knows herself. Knows herself well enough that she could edit out those parts if she wants to. Can root out the doubts that leave her nauseous after a mission. But she doesn't. She never does. (She knows her limits. Her weaknesses. And she can't get rid of this because shinobi who don't know their weaknesses die from them.)

"I'm alright," she lies.

Ino is a weaver, a spider. She teases apart the threads of her friends' minds and souls and plaits them into new shapes.  _Remember?_

_I'm your friend._

_Remember?_

_You're my friend._

_Remember?_

Come into my parlor-

Friends.

Shikamaru's head lands in her lap, using her thighs as a pillow.

Her glare is habitual and fond. "Get off of me."

"Too troublesome," he mutters, eyes closed and laying on her.

She flops back against Chouji's chest, glances his way. And he holds out a chip in silent offer.

Ino swallows hard, knows what it means, and accepts the proffered comfort for what it is. Barbecue, because it's Chouji's favorite. He's a solid presence at her back and Shikamaru is a solid weight across her legs. An anchor to keep her from getting too lost.

"Love you, Ino-chan."

Her heart constricts, fights against it.

Shikamaru lets out a sigh. "Love you, troublesome woman."

 _Friendship_. Honest and giving and combative and  _honest_  and Ino soaks it in like sunlight. Finally settles back into her own skin with a sigh as she goes boneless. "Love you two frustrating idiots."

(Ino doesn't trust herself. But her team? Shikamaru and Chouji trust her with everything about themselves.)

Tomorrow, they'll have to check in and give an update on the mission. Tomorrow she'll have to un-box the spider, water the poison flowers so they'll grow. But tonight...

Tonight she takes comfort in the friendship of her team.


End file.
